We've been getting a LOT of single fathers hitting us up here at AoC, many asking for advice on how to manage both having kids of their own while being in the dating game at the same time. Rather than ignore the obvious differences that face single dads, we figured a couple quick tips might help.
1) Responsibility is Attractive.
A lot of guys are afraid to bring up the fact that they have kids when they're dating a new girl. I see the rationale here, but I have to say -if she's not cool with the idea that you've got children, that means she's not the right girl for you now, and she won't be later on, either. So, the sooner you get that elephant in the living room out on the table, the better off you both are. So, do yourself a favor, sack-up and be upfront about it. You might be surprised at the outcome.
2) Authenticity for the Win.
Anyone you date for a longer period of time is eventually going to meet your family. What you DON'T want is to introduce a new girl to your kids, only to later have them find out you've been seeing her for 4 months and never mentioned anything. They'll feel like they're out of the loop, which builds resentment between the kids and your new girl, which isn't fair to her OR them.
3) You're a protector, not just a Provider.
As a father, it'll always be your job to protect your kids from harm. This includes emotional as well as physical threats. One thing that a lot of single dads do when they jump back into the dating arena is that they bring their new lady-friends into contact with the kids way too early (contrast this with the above). This isn't always an issue, but if the new belle turns out to be a basket-case, your kids are now in the mix, and there's not much you can do about it. It's pretty much impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube, ya dig?
If you've found yourself recently thrust back into the dating pool and you're not sure how the 'new' rules of dating apply to you, or how to master them, then we can help.
And it's not too late if you're in your 30s or 40s (or even older!) Many of the top AoC grads are guys who came in after the proverbial opening bell.
"Fathers are men who have pictures in their wallet where their money used to be."