Boybashing in Abstinence Education (Part II)

[PR]

 Boybashing in Abstinence Education (Part II)

In Boybashing in Abstinence Education (Part I), I criticized abstinence educator Darren Washington who, at the Eighth Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference, told young women:

"Your body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he's done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker."

In other words, females are pure and good, until they're defiled and ruined by filthy males and their base, animal desires.

Below is another example of Boybashing in abstinence education, apparently connected to ASPIRE, a program sponsored by the Abstinence & Marriage Education Partnership. According to the A&M Partnership, "Aspire is a positive presentation on the benefits of abstinence until marriage for use with public or private high school students."

The video compares a woman's body to a piece of duct tape which gets increasingly fouled as it is put in different places. We're told that the way the tape leaves a residue behind each time it is moved is analogous to the way women allegedly lose a bit of themselves after each sexual encounter with a man. The video then tells young women "Don't Let Yourself Be Used Like This Piece of Duct Tape." In other words, when boys want to have sex with girls--as is their perfectly natural desire--they're trying to "use" them.

Leaving aside this demonization of teen boys, I also wonder how such a presentation is "positive."

The video can be seen here or below. If anyone else sees this the way I do, feel free to contact the Abstinence & Marriage Education Partnership in Wheeling, Illinois at 1-877-290-9248 or via email by clicking here.

[Note: Both examples of Boybashing above--Parts I and II--came via Feministing blogger Jessica Valenti. Valenti is a frequent critic of abstinence education, though from a different perspective than mine.]

To discuss this issue on my blog, click here.

[PR]

  Today in the Mpls. Star Tribune
Posted by: "Jamil" jamil@fathers-4-justice.us   jj_stpaul
Tue Jan 8, 2008 7:05 am (PST)
http://nc.startribune.com/blogs/kersten/?p=347

Will Boys Crawl Up from the Educational Basement?
January 8th, 2008 ­ 8:30 AM

Politically correct legends die hard, but we¹ve finally
discarded the feminist fantasy that girls are shortchanged
in school. You know the conventional wisdom has
undergone a seismic shift when a New York Times
news article bluntly states that ³girls [are] outperforming
boys these days in high school and college.²

The Times¹ conclusion is supported by a wealth of statistics,
some of which were highlighted in a recent Newsweek
cover story:

By almost every benchmark, boys across the nation
and in every demographic group are falling behind. In
elementary school, boys are two times more likely
than girls to be diagnosed with learning disabilities and
twice as likely to be placed in special-education classes.
High-school boys are losing ground to girls on standardized
writing tests. The number of boys who said they didn¹t like
school rose 71 percent between 1980 and 2001, according
to a University of Michigan study.

Nowhere is the shift more evident than on college
campuses. Thirty years ago men represented 58 percent
of the undergraduate student body. Now they¹re a minority
at 44 percent. This widening achievement gap, says
Margaret Spellings, U.S. Secretary of Education, Œhas
profound implications for the economy, society, families
and democracy.¹

We¹ve finally identified the real ³gender gap,² but
agreement on solutions is harder to come by. One thing¹s
for sure, according to the Times. High-priced counselors,
consultants and tutors are springing up everywhere to
help solve your son¹s gender-based academic difficulties.

These professionals are apparently focusing on organizational
skills, claiming that boys can¹t adequately respond to the
intricate planning required to meet modern educational
demands. The typical tutor prepares an elaborate plan
consisting of color-codes, files, planners and calendars.
The clients are held accountable for the content of those
notoriously messy backpacks, and deviations from the
system are verboten. There is some evidence that boys¹
grades improve when the new habits begin to stick.

But how much can we rely on improved organizational
skills to bolster the education of boys? Several years ago,
I wrote that modern education is fundamentally rigged in
favor of girls, and I believe the same holds true today:

Until about 40 years ago, American classrooms were
generally Œteacher-centered.¹ Lessons were highly
structured, and discipline was strict. Teachers emphasized
fact-based learning and drill, and grading was competitive.

But with the rise of Œprogressive¹ education, a Œchild-
centered¹ approach became the norm. Progressive
pedagogy deemphasized structure in favor of Œdiscovery
learning,¹ and focused on enhancing creativity and self-
esteem rather than imparting knowledge. Teachers
began to discourage competition, and promote cooperative
group learning.

Instructional changes like these appear to have hurt
boys. Boys tend to be less mature, more impulsive and
more easily bored than girls. As a result, they benefit
from structured lessons, clear expectations and strict deadlines.

Boys also need firm, consistent discipline. Today,
classroom discipline is often inconsistent, and lacks
the authoritative tone to which boys are most likely
to respond.

Finally, boys tend to thrive on competition, and
frequently flounder in collaborative group settings.
One researcher has summed matters up this way: Œ
By rejecting the old-fashioned ladder of tests,
measurable achievement and competition, incentives
were lost that had once given school a comprehensible
point to many pupils ‹ particularly the male ones.¹

One additional obstacle to boys¹ improved academic
performance is much too fundamental and intractable
for the tutors to grapple with. Newsweek put it succinctly:

One of the most reliable predictors of whether a
boy will succeed or fail in high school rests on a single
question: does he have a man in his life to look up to?
Too often, the answer is no. High rates of divorce and
single motherhood have created a generation of fatherless
boys. In every kind of neighborhood, rich or poor, an
increasing number of boys­now a startling 40 percent­
are being raised without their biological dads.

All the color-coded planners in the world will only scratch
the surface. Boys still need dads.

--
Jamil Jabr (Gabriel¹s Dad)
F4J
Fathers-4-Justice-US
Families-4-Justice-US
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http://www.f4j.us/
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jamil@f4j.us
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