Relish the Challenge!‏ Secret to Raising Smart Kids

[Robbie]

 
Relish the Challenge!‏


 I just learned something really important about getting your datinglife in great shape from a bunch of kids. There have been some exciting articles in the scientific andpopular media lately about a series of studies done on theattitudes of schoolchildren towards problem solving, and how thoseattitudes affect the outcomes of individual schoolchildren. Thefindings were quite surprising, and quite eye-opening. Here's thebest article about these studies, from Scientific American: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids  What these studies found is that half of the children, who werepraised on being intelligent, *shied away* from tough problems -and in fact began to see their grades decline as the level ofdifficulty increased and they moved along in school, fromelementary to junior high to high school. They learned it was goodto be correct, and because their validation and thus self-worthcame from being correct, they didn't want to risk puttingthemselves in situations where they might be Incorrect... and becamefrustrated and de-motivated when facing challenging problems (inthis case, difficult math problems). On the other hand, the second half of children in the studies werepraised on being hard workers. What the researchers found was thatthese children performed consistently better than theirintelligence-praised peers as the problems they were confrontedwith became more challenging. Many of the children praised onbeing hard workers showed they had developed an attitude ofactually relishing challenges: difficult problems were what theyenjoyed. Whereas the other children had learned to love gettingthe answer right - which caused them to avoid difficult situationswhere they might be wrong - the "hard working" children had learnedto love the process of learning and overcoming obstacles. And inthe end, they got the answer right more often, too. So, children who are praised on putting forth a lot of effort andhard work are more successful academically than children who arepraised on being intelligent and correct as the problems becomemore difficult (as the study found). How does this help you getany better with women? Simple. If your main focus is results (such as getting a phonenumber, or taking a girl home, or getting into a relationship), asit is for a great many men, your focus is the same as thosechildren who had been praised on their intelligence. They want theright answer. Likewise, you want a specific outcome from yourinteraction with a girl. Just as the children in the study shiedaway from challenging situations, you too will shy away fromchallenging situations, socially. And that means you will have amuch harder time reaching your full potential: talking to thewomen you find most attractive but also a little intimidating,being comfortable around them, bringing them into your life. Because when you very much want a certain outcome, you also becomeafraid of not getting that outcome, and the damage that can do toyour self-esteem. So you let gorgeous, amazing women pass bywithout saying anything to them.  There is a term used by one of the researchers about the childrenwho became frustrated and de-motivated with the challengingproblems called "learned helplessness". It describes a conditionwhere an individual has tried several times and failed, and so nolonger bothers to try, even when it becomes easy to get the objectof his desire. This happens to many people in many areas of life,one of which is with pursuing members of the opposite sex. A manwill try and not succeed with a beautiful woman, then try again andnot succeed, then again without success - and then give up. Andthe next time he sees a beautiful woman, he lets her pass by,believing it is not worth the effort to even try to talk to herbecause it won't get him anything. He says to himself, "There'snothing I can do, girls like that just don't want me." This islearned helplessness. There are other men who try and fail, try and fail, try and fail -and then try, and finally succeed. These are the men who aresuccessful with women, and life in general. There is much truth inthe saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Entrepreneurs are a perfect example. Most entrepreneurs launch aseries of business that don't pan out before they hit on the onethat rakes in tens of millions of dollars in a comparatively shortperiod of time. They didn't give up after the early failures, and inthe end they had massive successes. If you want to get really good with women, and get the best women onthe planet, you're going to to make a few mistakes on the road. It'spart of This is the learning process. No man has ever overcome achallenging situation he encountered by giving up. Success comesby forging through the rough spots, continuing on, and neverturning back, even when it's not clear when the success will come.You must know the result you want, but not be too invested inachieving it - more important is the journey there. Successful menenjoy that journey... they feel good when they try and push on, whenthey approach the most beautiful girl in the most logisticallychallenging situation. When they do something that has a .1% chanceof working. These successful men know they are doing something thatmost men never will (and then the results come!). * * * * * * * * * * * Do you relish the challenge of trying to improve your life and theopportunity to learn a new skill set, or do you cringe at the fearof not getting the results you want immediately? If you already possess the mindset of relishing challenges, tryingnew things, learning, and seeing how far you can push yourself tosucceed when it comes to the social arena, you are already lightyears ahead of most of your peers. This is a new skill to learn, away of adding onto your life. If you do not possess that mindset when it comes to socializing, asmost people don't, one of the best things you can do for yourself -and it will affect you in many other avenues besides success withwomen - is to change your attitude, and change the way you look atchallenge. Changing the way you think about the challenge takes somet ime, butit will change your life in so many ways for the better. Once youbecome the kind of man who goes after what he wants, embraceschallenge, and fears not to stumble along the way, your learning andresults accelerate greatly, because you will no longer hold yourselfback to protect your ego. There are a number of things you can do to change your view of achallenge. Start implementing these into your life. Having theright mindset will help propel you forward. * Stop concentrating on what you have to lose (it's not much anways)and start concentrating on what you have to gain. You see abeautiful girl that you'd like to talk to, and you think to yourselfeither A) wow, she's cute, I'm going to talk to her and see if Ilike her! or B) yikes, she's cute, what if I go talk to her andshe's mean to me. Use the first option, fill your mind with thepossibilities of the first and immediately go act. Basketballplayers who perform best always remember the times they made abasket. Start thinking in terms of the good things that can happen. * Focus on the process. Have a couple of new things you want totry out every time you go out to meet women (or a couple old thingsyou want to focus on improving), and do not allow yourself to gohome until you have tried them all out. * Stop yourself from overthinking. It's easy when you overthink andget into own your head to feel down some. Focus your mental energyis turned outwards, towards examining your environment - noticingeverything and interacting with everyone and pursuing at a whimwhatever you decide you want. Every time you catch yourselfover-thinking and under-performing, get your mind out of the pastor out of the future and focus on what's going on around you RIGHTNOW. This is huge. Once you realize you are over-thinking at anygiven time, and force yourself to focus only on immediate stimuliwithout reflecting on it, simply drinking it in, seeing and acting,you will feel instantly more comfortable. * Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn the lessons that comewith them. If you're having a hard time talking to women becauseyou just can't stop feeling a lot of pressure, then do some warm-ups.Do three to five warm ups before you're doing the real deal. Warmups are random girls you go up to and say or do anything with justto get loose. It helps clear your mind a lot and relieve a greatdeal of that pressure. * * * * * * * * * * * The right mindset is absolutely, positively, one of THE mostimportant determinants to success in life and women. No two waysabout it. If you want to get what you want, rather just than thinkhow nice it would be to have it, you must confront the challengesahead of you and learn and grow. It's not always easy, but it'svery doable and completely worth it. You can learn to succeed atanything if you relish and enjoy the challenge, relish learning fromthe experiences you have, and continually push yourself to see whatyou are capable of. Nothing about you is constant. Everything is either growing oratrophying. You are either practicing and getting better, or you'rebeing complacent and getting worse. Absolutely nothing that you areis standing still, no matter how much it seems like it is at themoment. Embrace change, put yourself out there, and you will reapthe fruits of your labors with time and growth. Success is not something that happens. It's something you MAKEhappen. Chase--theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman Note from Sebastian: Wow... you know, everyone successful I knowis big into an attitude that's a bit out of vogue in America. It'scalled "kaizen" - it's a Japanese word. It roughly translates to"continual improvement". The idea is you trend upwards and get alittle bit better each and every day. Failure is cool, because if you're never failing, that means you'renot pushing yourself hard enough and getting the success you couldbe. If I don't fail for a period of time, I force myself to go allout and try something really difficult. Interestingly, the last timeI went for broke like this I walked around the back of a table in ahot nightclub in a space that really wasn't meant for walking in andstarted talking to a Persian model. She was totally disinterested,borderline hostile at first, and it looked like a really toughgroup. But I stuck in there, and slowly started turning thingsaround. Eventually I met her sister's boyfriend and we hit it offand eventually he and her sister gave me their blessing to take herback to where I was staying. A crazy night... and a group that lookedlogistically near impossible. That's the cool thing about trying topush your limits and trying to fail - sometimes you actually succeed,and get a crazy story out of the deal! Also, the thing about smart kids really struck a chord in me. I knowa lot of people who were labeled brilliant that haven't achieved somuch success. It's the people that have dropped their head and putin some effort that consistently got the success. Just making thecommitment to have experiences out of your comfort zone will lead toyou getting crazy results. Hmm, I'm going to go find something crazyto try later on today I think... -- International Training Dates: December 21st-23rd: There's ONE SPOT LEFT in Singapore. No otherinstructors are being dispatched and there's been multiple inquirieson this spot. You can lock in your spot to train internationallyhere: http://www.theapproach.com/p_coaching_packages.php December 28th-30th: Ringing in the New Year in Osaka, Japan. Thereis one spot remaining in Osaka, Japan, but another instructor may bedispatched. You could risk the date selling out and hope anotherinstructor gets assigned... or you could sign up for a hell of agood time now to lock in your spot. Full international schedule and signup is here: http://www.theapproach.com/p_coaching_packages.php Information about theApproach Live Training and curriculum is here: http://www.theapproach.com/p_theApproach_standard.php

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Guidebook with Picking out Reflections Apartments     
     
•   Research - this can be the right off the bat you'll want to accomplish in order to get the best one particular. You have to have this directories of the condominiums found about the place you usually are going to. Their list behaves since your alternatives. Whenever researching, be certain that the approaches you had integrated out there are outstanding and excellent. This will simply be done through studying evaluations.     
•   Contact the particular rentals * come across the perfect time to phone or even get in touch with the apartment. Calling them is a good method to understand the sort of hotel they furnish. Whenever you can, over the dialogue, request the things which you'd like to learn incorporated with your own stay in the spot. Don't forget to request the particular rates plus the feasible costs which you may obtain intended for residing at the best place. Moreover, consult in addition the actual utility bills and services your sites offer.     
•   Compare - after phoning and speaking with this apartments rentals, review the details that you will get. Consider all the things incorporated with this in particular the prices, the placement as well as the sort of accommodation they furnish. When you compare, make sure that you will choose the one that offer very best deals in relation to price tag and repair.     
•   Decide -- following researching, perform determination quickly. This is to protect yourself from supplying this purports to other individuals. Simply because pertaining to revenue intent you will discover apartments rentals that provide present to help others who right away perform booking following conversing. Therefore, soon after identifying which one is best, do booking as soon as you may.     
     
These are the basic things which have to take into account when choosing reflections apartments. To carry out the job effectively, marketing and advertising to make it happen early in advance. Whenever possible, have enough time to research and also think of the very best deals. With this, you're very sure that you are likely to develop the best situation to settle at in your journey.     
         
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